I am frequently told that Islam is about the liberation of women and freedom of expression. I am told that women willingly choose to don the hijab or burka and suppress their individuality as a way of pleasing Allah. I am told that I can find no misogyny in Islam, especially not in the Quran or the Hadith.
Here are 5 examples from the Quran and the Hadith that I think demonstrate the freedom of expression and the liberation the Muslims have been telling me about. These are not the worst, ahem, best five I could find, they are just five that I find interesting.
Al Baqarah 2:223
Women are like a dirty field for men to plow with their penises. Plow them whenever you like and however you like, as long as you do it righteously, but they better not be menstruating. Period blood juices make Allah queasy.
Remember how women always have to submit to their husbands? Well, they better hope the husbands do not “do wrong” or else they will be tossed into hell with their husband.
Sahih Bukhari Vol 1:28
The majority of hell’s inhabitants are women. Why? Women whine and nag like ungrateful little sods. They deserve that hell fire because we all know that the men are not misogynists and treat their women with the utmost respect right?
Sahih Bukhari Vol 3:826
If you were ever wondering about the worth of a woman, here is it. A woman’s witness is worth half of the witness of a man. Why? It is because those women have deficient minds that render them incapable of thinking on the level of men.
Sahi Bukhari Vol 7:30-33
Men are not responsible for bad omens. If bad things are happening to you, there is a 33% chance that it is a woman’s fault. If you don’t have a horse, that number rises to 50%. Let’s be honest though, when has your house ever done anything except give you a nice place to live? That woman is 100% at fault!
As you can see from the examples above, Islam does not appear to be misogynistic and I am not just saying this because I could be the next American to be beheaded. Islam is the religion of piece… s… pieces of you scattered on the floor.
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